Friday, October 30, 2015

LJD'S WEEKLY CATCH UP: Disrespect pisses me off, especially when it's from family!

Some weird shit has happened in the last few weeks and last week I was incredibly angry about it (typical Taurus).  This week, still slightly pissed, but not so much. 

What I’m talking about is family and respect.

I have five older siblings 10-15 years older than me and I’m currently 41, so that makes them 51-56. Now you’d think that being in their 50s with their own homes, partners, kids, jobs etc, and being Boomers, that they’d act like adults. 

But no! They still act like five years old vying for mummy’s attention.

What really pisses me off is the utter lack of respect. For each other, for our mother, for me.

They grew up together, five kids under five. They grew up in the 60s, 70s and some 80s until they’d all moved out of home (even with all the shit they dealt us then). They were close, not only in age, but emotions, and have always had some sort of weird bond.

I never really got it when I was a kid, I just wanted my siblings to play games and do stuff with me as I didn’t understand they didn’t want to (definitely didn’t understand why some of them hated my guts) and had lives of their own. But now at 41 I finally understand it and am so glad I’m not a part of it. For it is a very sick psychotic obsession they have with one another and the insidious need to get involved in each other’s business is just that. Insidious.

The problem then extends to me. Everything they say and do and discuss about me, without me even knowing or being spoken to, has ramifications. For me!

The name I use on this blog is just one nom de plume I publish under. It came first, before my jewellery business; it came before my non-fiction books under my own name and before my current young adult and children’s author name. I started publishing this blog on January 1, 2009. At first it was meant to be mysterious and fun, a place for me to launch from when I became published. Over the years I considered revealing myself but didn’t until last year for the 21 day birthday extravaganza with the blog posts “40 Things About Me” which you can start reading from here.

Yet after all of that I have not once actually said to my five siblings (I haven’t seen two of them in 25+ years and have only had recent contact with my only brother after 15 years when he threw a tantrum and walked away from the family. I rarely see my other two sisters.) “hey, did you know I write books.” “Did you know I wrote a jewellery book, or that I’m now writing kids’ books?”

Not once has that info EVER escaped from between my lips to anyone in my family except my mother and she doesn’t know much anyway. In fact, not only have I mentioned very little to her, she has not read any.

The only way for the rest of my family to know is if two, or possibly three, of them flapped their fat bloody traps about my business. And the only way that would have happened would have been because of one sister (the second eldest, I’ll call her #2), seeing my jewellery and style books on my other Facebook page, and because she thinks she has the right to tell the rest of the family about our business, (and I only found out that #1 and #2 know I write books last week from mum yet I’ve never mentioned it to either of them, and they have definitely never mentioned it to me), would have told three of them by now. The other way, would have been after my third eldest sister, #3, wreaked havoc on my social media spreading personal information about me that very few people would have known.

The oldest (I’ll call her #1) has also discussed our business with a niece none of us have even seen (I certainly haven’t because she’s the daughter of #3). She came in contact with her two years ago, and sadly, we know that info got back to #3 and hell happened to me because of it and the evidence is closing in that it was her. Thanks so much, bitches!

Not only has #1 told the entire town and countryside she lives in about our mother’s medical issues but she cracked a shit last year when our mother had fallen over and #2 and I had to deal with it. Mum was okay, we called an ambo, they checked her, she was fine. Three days later she was suffering dizziness and I called an ambo as I’m her carer and live with her. We got a call from #2 who then promptly called #1, who then promptly called me and cracked a shit at me. I hung up on her. She then continually called the hospital later that day to talk to mum who was so sick and was being checked over that they had to keep hanging up on her.

But what bought all of the anger and rage I had last week was when I was getting stuff ready for sale on eBay and it reminded me of something mum had said about my brother’s partner. They’ve been together about 20 years, never married, had one kid and we haven’t seen them in 15 years when he threw his tanty and walked out. She said to mum that she as going to get me to sell some of her bead books on eBay. And in another conversation, she told mum she was getting excited about taking some of my jewellery down to her place to sell at markets.

Now, guess what pissed me off!

Not once had my sister in law actually spoken to me about any of it. She knows I run a business, she knows I make and sell jewellery because guess who told her, #2 of course, as I didn’t have my business 15 years ago when we last saw them. Yet she must clearly think I sit on my arse and do nothing all day like her if I’m supposed to have the time to upload her shit to eBay and worry about selling them. Fuck that shit!

My sister in law acted the exact same way as my own siblings. They would talk to mum about me, ask questions about me, make comments about me, ask her if I would do things for them, BUT NOT ONCE did they ever talk to me about these things. Such blatant fucking disrespect!

I told mum in Feb of this year it would be a massive mistake to call my brother after 15 years, that they would not have changed and they’d be exactly the same. She likes to think people change (and thinks more of her five older children than me), but as I reminded her, people only change if they want to, and my family don’t want to. Well, I was right about everything because I know my family. And I still don’t want them here. Not that we’ve seen them since before Easter, mind you, they just took the money (which they still owe) and ran. Again!

The sick psycho obsession the five of them have with each other is disgusting. They get involved in each other’s business, threaten to beat each other up, slag each other off and generally treat each other badly, and then there’s my sis in law on top of it all who thinks she’s one of us girls. She ain’t.

After all the years of hearing about toxic people on Oprah, my family are not people I want to be around, or a part of.

I don’t discuss my business because many a year ago mum suggested we keep our business to ourselves and not talk about it. I’ve stuck to that, but she has blabbed a bit too so she’s not much better than them. I don’t discuss my siblings business with them, or others, I only discuss it with mum. And the irony, or hypocrisy, is that they don’t tell us everything either.

Mum had to find out that #1 mowed half her toes off from #2, and many months later, because #1 didn’t bother ringing.

#3 is a sister who is a lying, cheating, bullshitting bitch who ruins everything she touches and has been in so much trouble with the cops it’s a wonder my idiot siblings believe a word out her mouth after all this time. Then there’s my brother, #4, then another sister, #5, who is just as bad as #3. Both #3 and #5 have told their children their grandmother/family is dead. Why would you even do that? And yet #2 somehow found #5 last year and became BFFs on Facebook and are seeing each other after 23 years of not seeing each other. And the irony in that is that #5 always said she hated #2 and never wanted to see her. #2 claims #5 has never lied to her but we know different.

The utter lack of respect and decency in this family is appalling and I am so disgusted by the way I get treated, (like a child still, unable to answer questions on my own, or have conversations with them, or that mum will make me do things they want). I’m also disgusted by the way they treat each other and can’t mind their own fucking business and shut their fucking mouths about my business.

I don’t want to know my family, especially #3, #4, #5 and sometimes even #1 after what she did to me in 1994. I can tolerate #2 at times but even she can still be a bitch at 55.

I’ve calmed down a bit, after not being able to sleep last week due to my brain going over and over it. I’m not sure why my brain was on a tangent but I figured it needed to sort some shit out and calm down in its own time. But, knowing my brain, the next time this topic comes up, or someone brings up something about me doing shit for them, I’m going to fucking crack it. I don’t have the time or energy for this shit. I’ve got a fucking business to run.

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