Monday, March 22, 2010

Lara Bingle and Michael Clarke, thank God that relationship is over!!!

So if you don't know the couple in the pic, it's a B.B.B (boringly bland blonde) Lara Bingle, and her now ex fiance, cricketer Michael Clarke.

It seemed the couple were known as Australia's Posh and Becks, since he's a successful cricket player, and she's only really been know as the chick from the tourism ad from 3 years ago, with her one line, ''WHERE THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU.''

She got herself on a few tv shows and became a model, then was introduced to Michael and the pair started dating. She's 22, he's 28.

However, there's been quite a few things happen to this couple over the last few weeks.

First, footy player, cheater and arsehole, Brendan Fevola, pic above, decided that when he had seperated from his wife a few years back he'd date around. And he dated Lara Bingle, who according to another arsehole ''former'' footballer who thinks his own shit don't stink, knew that Brendan was married.

However, during the time they dated, he decided to rip back the shower curtain and take the pic below of Lara.
Now this pic has been going around for three years now, and while Brendan denies he sent it to his mates, Lara and Michael knew about it last year. Problem was, this year, Woman's Day magazine decided to do a story on the episode and show the picture without permission.

The following week, Lara managed to get herself into the magazine with her own story, thanks to her new manager Max Markson.

Now Max is hilarious and I follow him on Twitter, and no, he did not respond to my email about helping me, so he can be a bit of a shithead, but he scored himself a nice cut of the magazine money.
Michael didn't want Lara to do the story ''apparently'' and so flew home to Sydney from New Zealand where the cricket team was to play their game. He flew into much controversy, where, Lara had stuck her finger up at the press, and made a right dick of herself, but then what else is new, and so decided to break up with her on ''advice'' from family and friends.
In the meantine, she's put her $250,000 Aston Martin that Michael gave her up for sale, pic below, and supposedly threw her $20,000 diamond engagement ring down the toilet.

Michael then went out with a few mates and got decidedly pissed on alcohol, but then got pissed off when a woman asked to take his photo and he said no, but the bitch took it anyway.

He flew back to New Zealand and seems to be getting on with his life after the great Bingle debarcle, and hopefully will find himself a much better partner than the bitch called Lara.

As yall know, I cannot stand boringly bland blondes, especially those without brain cells, which Lara seems to be.

She's sucked Michael dry and now after two years the de facto laws may entitle her to some of his money and half of the penthouse he bought years ago.

I can only say I hope the bitch doesn't get anything. She's nothing without him. Her actions have cost both of them their contracts with companies, she's not earning any money and basically was a leach on him.

Personally, she needs a good punch in the head. And I'm just the one to do it. Michael seems like a really nice guy, and as you know, I'm partial to guys called Michael. And he's cute to boot.

Jewels xxoo


  1. So, if I just say "WHERE THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU" and wait three years I can sell a $250,000 car?

  2. Never heard of them in my neck of the woods but doesn't seems like I'm missing on a lot LOL It's sad these days that bimbos like this Lara or Heidi Montag can "earn" a dime just for being "celebrities". Shame!!! (though Montag and her moron recently gone broke. oops!)


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