Monday, January 4, 2010

Jennifer Hawkins and Bianca Dye. Who do you say is more ''real''?

Okay peeps, I have come up with an ingenious plan for 2010. I am going to write a post (or two) EVERY DAY!!!


As long as I'm not having surgery or sick as a dog as I have been!!!!

I have decided that my peeps need more of me in 2010, and I need more peeps to follow me, so I'm going to have some sort of goody for you on a daily basis, starting with, of course, a good old bitch from JEWELS DIVA of BITCHFEST!

Mondays - a good old bitch.

Tuesdays - My Fav Things.

Wednesdays - some lighthearted comic relief with Lolcats and dogs.

Thursdays - Quote of the week, so if you have some, send them my way via my email ad - and I'll include them with your name and blog / website. But be prepared, mine can be down right filthy dirty!

Fridays - my weekly tv review AND another BITCH from BITCHFEST!!!!!
I'm such an eager beaver, I wrote a tonne of bitches, fav things and quotes yesterday just so I've got them all sorted and backed up ready to go to the point they'll last me for a good six months! So all of that will go according to plan unless something happens that I just have to absolutely bitch about on another day!


And then of course I'll be taking the weekends off for rest, relaxation and sex with my gorgeously gorgeous husband and Italian stallion lover. And some shopping on ebay and what not!

But for now, enjoy this bitch.

For those that have gone back over my posts coz you've seen names you know or things you like, you'll remember some of my early posts about models, Jennifer Hawkins, Megan Gale etc.

I LOVE Megan Gale, she is gorgeous to boot and who the hell wouldn't mind looking like her. Sadly, Jewels does not, but in the vain hope of doing so, I must grow taller by many inches and thinner by many pound/kilos/stones, and become a dark haired beauty pretty much over night.


So, here's another bitch about Jennifer Hawkins. The long ago before pic below was when she was a cheerleader for a rugby team her in Aus.

Plain and boring right?

She's what I call a B.B.B.

Or boringly bland blonde!

She so clearly slides into her daily bath filled with litres of fake tan to match her fake blonde hair to match her fake blonde makeup. To the point where she's so boringly bland that she fades into whatever beige background she's standing in front of.

Of course she's not the only B.B.B to look this way. Many Do.

Jennifer Anniston, Lara Bingle, Natalie Bassingthwaighte etc.

But my whole bitch is that she has appeared on the cover of Marie Claire magazine here in Aus. The editor, Jackie Frank, has labeled her the body we should strive to achieve. Or some such nonsense!

That whole issue in the magazine can be read here.

Bianca Dye, a radio announcer and part time red carpet go-er, stripped nude for Madison magazine last year, showing her lumps and bumps.

She was on the Today show this morning, having her opinion on the Marie Claire issue and telling everyone that Jennifer may look great and be a nice girl (not in my opinion) but that her body is not the norm and not what most of us look like, or can achieve.

Bianca's story, plus others can be read here.

She's right.

True, there's a minor percentage of women in the world that are that anorexic looking, (if your bones are poking through your skin, you are), and if you enjoy being that thin, bully for you. But the MAJORITY of the world's women look NOTHING LIKE HER.
I sure as hell don't. I'm not thin, though I should lose the weight I gained over xmas, but in my case I need to keep my weight down because of my scoliosis (curved spine) and nerve problems (due to scoliosis). I'm not fake tanned, I have discovered that I turn yellow and not cream or brown, and I'm not hair free, mainly coz there's no way in hell I'm gonna wax every last ounce of hair from my moley body.

That's at least 800 moles, spots and freckles to you!

I'm not a fan of Jennifer. I never have been and never will be. I don't like her, and if you need reasons, here they are.

1 - she wears her hair parted in the middle and hangs her head to hide behind it.
Insecure much!

Only 5 year old girls do that.

2 - she's fake!

3 - she sounds like a man when she talks, like a lot of other blondes she giggles too much, can't speak seriously and acts like a typical moron when having a conversation.


The point is, we as a whole look nothing like her. I don't want to. And for a magazine to claim she's what we should all look like to be healthy and fit is bullshit.

Magazines are the first people to tell us how thin we should be, how to diet, look thinner, wear spanx, how to dress,how to put makeup on, how to get a man, keep a man, please a man, look 50 years younger, act 30 years older and generally buy their magazine so they stay in business.


Magazine editors talk out their arse and thankfully I DO NOT buy Marie Claire.
There's no way in hell I will ever want to look, be, talk, walk, dress or be boringly bland like Jennifer Hawkins.

Because there's no way in hell I ever could.

Magazine editors need to grow up and pull their collective heads out of their collective arses and grow a collective brain. The world does not look how you want it to. And it never will.

a very curvy Jewels xxoo


  1. I had to skim through the latter half of your post because my boss doesn't like me looking at naked pictures.

    You're so blorganized- that was blog+organized if you didn't get that.

  2. Yeah, lol, I got it. I had nothing else to do yesterday so I got writing.

  3. I think I've only seen one interview with Jennifer Hawkins, and I may have tuned out because if there's someone being interview I don't know about I don't listen to them (giving me no chance to know about them.)

    I don't know who the other girl is.

    I think I'd rather date the second one though. But that might be because I'd be worried Jen might drag a little bit of the focus away from me, and we couldn't have that.

    They might be about to talk about Jen on the 7pm Project. Maybe I should have waited until after this to comment. Oh well.

  4. gosh this is causing all sorts of dramas today isnt it!

    Well you know my thoughts on horse head Hawkins... her size is realistic. If you do nothing but work out and snack on.. water and cocaine?

    Maybe Jackie Frank should nude up and get on the cover with no touch ups...

  5. Hey sweetie. So this year we are getting more of you?! Yey! That is what bitchfest is all about. I'm looking forward to my daily dose sweetie. I have never heard of Jennifer but yeah, she does seem like a triple B! This year maybe she needs to get a life and be more real.

  6. Yea, lets hear it for real people!


  7. I'd be happy to look like Bianca. But really I'm trying to be happy just being me.

  8. Ah Scoman - yes, they talked about it on 7pm last night too.

    Al - Jackie's big puffy moles on her face are enough to turn any one off! Don't bother getting naked!

    Bianca's ballsy and out there, very much like Jewels!

  9. I couldn't bitch enough about J-Hawk. She's horrendous. Did anyone actually watch the Miss Universe that she won? I was mortified with embarrassment that she was representing our country and then she won! She was obviously the only one low enough to screw Donald Trump. I don't care for the picture, it doesn't really do anything for my self-esteem (positive or negative). It's just another naked blond. Nothing new there. And what's so great about her figure anyway? I can't figure it out. She works out EVERY DAY and that's all she's got? Pfft. I do sweet FA and I still think my body is better than hers. At least I don't have to sit in an awkward constipated position to make it look like I have a waist and hips. Isn't that what trannies do because they don't have the curves of a woman? And for GOD'S SAKE - take the dumb bitch off television. She has NO screen presence whatsoever and she talks like a man. And have you heard her laugh? I cringe every time! She sounds so dopey. Give me Megan Gale or Miranda Kerr any day. Now THEY are women that make me green with envy because they NATURALLY beautiful. Anyone who takes as much work as Jennifer Hawkins to look somewhat attractive should not be a model.

  10. Jacqui - I LOVE Megan Gale, as mentioned in my post and yessssss Jennifer does laugh like a man that's another thing that turns me off her!

  11. You are sooooo soooo right!jennifer Hawkins simply reflects the visual of a typical bimbotic blonde clone!Megan Gale is the ultimate beauty in Australia!You go girl!

  12. OMG you have no idea how relieved i am to find somebody else who doesn't like Jennifer Hawkins!! I think she is just plain boring, with her dumb smile and stupid bland! And i am sick of seeing her everywhere... and true jacjacjacqui, her body isn't even that amazing. Give me dark features and more natural curves anyday - so much more sexy and interesting... oh and her man voice *vomits* I will never understand why my boyfriend drools over her (it makes me sick), he even told me she is his ultimate f**k! How gross... Not being egotistical, but why would he fancy someone like her when he has me - and aside from that, when there are so many more beautiful women in this world?? I just don't get it.

  13. Anon - plenty of people don't like Jennifer, I just wish those that do love her would stop saying everyone does.

    WE DON'T!!!!

  14. I hate women like jennifer hawkins, jennifer aniston, pamela anderson, katie price ect.. all those ugly, fake, plain looking women. It's revolting how societies standards are SO LOW!!

    To the anon. poster who's bf said that jennifer hawkins was his ultimate f, she should kick that LOSER to the curb because he has his eyes up his ass hole and his brains are blocking the way!!

    I'm so glad that my fiance has his eyes and brains in the right place because he thinks that there is nothing special about jennifer hawkins!!

    That's why I'm marrying him :)

  15. Thank god!!!
    I thought I was the only one that thought she wasn't anything special!!
    I do have blonde hair and blue eyes, but in no way do I strive to be like those bimbo's on tv.
    They give blondes a bad name.
    I don't pack on the make-up, infact I don't wear any 99% of the time.
    I don't get the fake tan looks disgusting!!
    Megan Gale shits on Jen.

  16. Im a 30 year old male and i think she is beautiful i really like her red hair in this picture
    I would marry a girl like her in a heartbeat.
    if you girls want to hate someone how about jake wall that prick is coming between me and my woman lol.

  17. finally i found people who are awake in this world and not running after cheap blonde bimbos. she doesnt have anything to be a miss universe . she must be good at BJs to get there. look at other miss universes they fit their title. megan gale represents women well. nice natural tan, beautiful curves and humble face. unlike jen who is full of herself and she thinks her shit* doesnt stink.

  18. i have NO idea why she is a role model.... seriously what has she done. it makes me sooo angry and fired up this is what our world has come to. It just makes me think of the pink film clip. hudge egos is not sexy, fake tans,heaps of makeup and stick figures. no wonder there are so many girls with body issues....

  19. Wow... I have never read so many negative comments before.

    Not once has anyone mentioned her success. Can anyone be appreciative and congratulatory of who she is and what she has achieved?

    Obviously not.

    Anyone that is successful would know the hours of hard work and dedication that it takes to make it somewhere. She hasn't gained that prosperous lifestyle overnight. She has worked hard for it. Its evident that she works hard for what she has achieved, she knows that in her field of work it is important take care of her body and eat well, and because of her dedication to make a living for herself and take all opportunities with open arms, she is reaping the rewards.

    In no way am I advocating for her, I'm just trying to put a bit of perspective on this negative debacle and I bet if you were in her position, you would not be complaining.

  20. Actually anon, she hasn't worked all that hard and she basically was an overnight success.

    As with the first pic of her I posted, she was a plain and boring cheerleader. She got herself a makeover, entered a competition and was lucky enough to have won.

    Everything that has happened, has happened BECAUSE of her winning. She wouldn't have the career she has without Miss Universe.

    And I'd say she had more than a makeup makeover. Looks like a little nip tuck on the face.

  21. Nip, tuck, filler.

    Look at her nose recently. Comparable to Michael Jackson's. She says she hasn't has any work done but I think only people as dumb as her would believe that. You can see the evidence for yourself.

    She hasn't worked hard at all. She was a legal secretary, a cheerleader, Miss Indy runner-up, Miss Universe. Every other so-called "success" has been a result of Donald Trump and some good makeup artists. Nothing more. Her new "designing" enterprises (with Loveable, Siren, Cozi, there are probably more that this fame whore is signed to), involves her signing a contract that says that she will promote and put her name on a product that was bound not to sell well and hopefully that will increase sales. Case in point - Siren Shoes. I saw Dopey on Today Tonight and they asked her about her new venture and she claimed that she designed the "hot" (they're actually really hideous) and confortable shoes for Siren. The interviewer asked her about how you go about designing for comfort. She pretty much answered that she didn't know because she was not involved in the design side of things. Good one Dopey, you're "beauty" hasn't made me forget what you said 20 seconds ago. Hypocrite. By the way, the designer that she's pretending to be stole his designs directly from real designers of seasons past. Perfect example (and I implore you to Google them) - Siren JLH Teodora Heels are basically a copy of Giuseppe Zanotti D'Orsay Chain Trim Heels. And they're SO last season.

    Moron. If you're going to pretend to do something, at least pretend to be original and innovative (especially seeing as your look is so generic).

  22. I bet-ya-Hate-my-gutz-2-?
    Because my face is pretty and I am a natural Aussie-Aussie-Aussie = "Oie-Oei-Oie" ... Us women in the land of Oz, do not need to "Fake-tan", because the sun shines here, dear! We laugh and giggle a lot, because life is a bloody-well-dream-here, mate! We enjoy to act like blokes, because we are "Bush-whackers" at heart, my friend. She is no more than just another "girl next door, type", to us here in this country. Heaps of girls look like her, naturally, it is simply, a part of our reality.
    At my local pub ... (((Any-local-pub)))You will find a blonde, good-looking, slim,tom-boy-type, girl, and she will say "Gidday Mate" and more than likely, she will be wearing shorts and a T-shirt ... They may even be green-ranger-style, but we just wear 'em! Um...? ... These "Girls", that can be found in any old pub, in any old town in Australia, are also very quick witted and love to strike up a conversation with anybody, from anywhere. So, this is how we earn the reputation of being friendly, and they call us "Fair dinkum" and "True-Blue", we say things like "Crikeys!" and "Stone-the-crows" and most of the "Typical-Dumb-Blonde-Bimbo's" are just the girl next door!
    Jenny is just another one of "us", we are all Aussies here mate! GET-A-LOOK-AT-OUR-Prime-Minister! The RED-HEAD ... Now, she's YOUR kinda girl!!!
    My natural locks of lovely long blonde gold ... can never be bought and never be sold ... lol!
    From another drop-dead-gorgeous-blonde ... in Oz

  23. "cheer-leading" is not a job or even a popular thing in Oz!!! = lol!

  24. To the anon second above, don't call me mate.

    I, as a born and bred Aussie female, have never used the dumb arse words you referred to. I'm not a bushwacker and have never used the word g'day.

    Yes, boringly bland blondes are a dime a dozen but being quick witted does not come with the hair colour. And being blonde is NOT how we became known as friendly and NO other country uses the terms fair dinkum and true blue, that's just the people in this country.

    And no, Jenny is not "one of us", and from your incredibly bad language skills neither are you. Oh wait...that's because you're blonde!

    As for Julia Gillard, check this blog for the amount of posts I've written on her, I hate her guts and no, she's not "my" kind of gal. I'm very straight and love men wayyyyy to much. I'd also rip those streaks out of her head if she ever came near me.

    So anon, I can see why you replied as anon, because your language is appalling and it's no wonder you wouldn't want to put your name to it!

  25. I can't believe the Anon tried to make us believe they were Aussie. Oie Oie Oie - What is that? The Spanish version? Douche. No one says G'day, stone the crows, or crikey anymore so you're either 100 years old or you're not Australian. I bet you think all Irish people say "Top of the morning to you" too. How ignorant. You have blond hair? No kidding. Your post was so "intelligent" you could have fooled us! LOL. What a half-wit.



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