Friday, January 2, 2009

Bitching the Year Away!!!!!

Hello all, and welcome to Bitchfest!!!!!!

I, your ever loving leader, Jewels Diva, you can call me Jewels, am here to help you bitch and whinge your way through life. Are you sick of celebrities, tv stars, radio announcers? I am, that's why Bitchfest is here. And I will lead you on a merry whinge about said celebrities, stars, pains in the arse, blah, blah, blah. So if you've had enough of the people on our humble screens and radios, stay right where you are and follow me on my journey through 2009. But for right now, here's my retrospect on the year that was, 2008! Well, what a New Years, I would have posted this sooner, but my gorgeous husband, Michael Weatherly, decided we should spend the day in bed ..... and I'm so glad we did. Look at all the fun we had when he started a pillow fight!!!!He does have a great arse, doesn't he?

Anyhoo, 2008 has been quite a year, but I'll only go over the stuff I don't give a crap about.

First of all, I'll go over what our dear old tv stations went on with this year. Like all other years, they put shows on, took shows off, put them back on again, screwed around with the timeslots, changed nights, stopped, started, whinged, whined. They think we don't care, HELL!!!!, they don't care that we do care, they just go about their merry screwed up way of pissing us viewers off, time and time again. Day in, day out, week after week, month after month, year after year. It's all the same, it's still the same. The stations don't care what they do and will not change.

Our fav tv shows start, then disappear, we complain to TV Week, they still don't care. We complain to the stations, they really don't give a fat rats backside that they piss us off! It's always the same, and nothing happens.

I gotta say though, even though the American writer's strike screwed a lot up, it was ironic that the stations suffered for it. ''Oh, we've got all new shows starting, coming this year,'' they said. Then BAM!!!!, the strike took them all away. LMAO. That taught them!

But alas ... it didn't. Once the strike was over, the tv stations started crapping on about ''fast - tracking'' That's where they bring us our fav shows only days after they air in America. It was great. Even I'll admit that, but come November, off the shows came again.
God Damn it! You stations seriously piss me and everyone else off. ''The shows will be back in February,'' they placate, trying to make us believe they do give a fat rats. But guess what? You'd started the series off, then told us they were the final eps when it finished. They weren't the final episodes, you dickwanks, you just cut the seasons short! You crap on about bringing us these great shows by fast-tracking, then you take them away from us just for the stinkin' christmas holidays!


We DON'T want to keep watching the same crap over summer. Or even the damn cricket. I HATE CRICKET!!!!!! I don't want to watch cricket, it's one of the most boring sports there is!!!!! BLECH!!!!!

That is my main gripe with Australia. Yes folks, that's where I am. Of course there are others, but I'll get into them as the year goes on. I do have some current gripes though, like the New Years Eve fireworks, that were on tv.

Firstly, channel Ten. WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING LETTING ANDREW G AND KIM WATKINS HOST!!! Did anyone else who watched it think it's time Andrew got himself a decent hairstyle? Seriously, what the hell are you thinking Andrew, you're married now, what the hell is your wife thinking, letting you go out in public with hair like that? I would have preferred to watch your Aus Idol partner James. At least he's amusing to watch.

And dear old Kim. You're not funny! And your dress was awful.

Talking about dressess, what the hell were Jess Mauboy and Nat Bassingthwaighte thinking, wearing ridiculously short and stupid outfits we could all see up, thanks to the cameramen constantly going up and taking footage of your crotches? Any female performer needs to think about whether their outfits are appropriate for tv viewing. I DON'T CARE to see whether you're wearing undies or not. I DON'T CARE to cop an eyeful when you're on stage. Stop looking like skanks, and start looking like women!

As for channel 9 - they had no fireworks :( and channel 7, who the hell were those people???????? A guy I've never seen, and a fake blond with an incredibly stunned mullet/bambi caught in the headlight look on her fake face. And the brunette, no idea who she was, but she's what you'd call a violet crumble (that's a chocolate bar for those that don't know) You know, brunette on the outside, blonde on the inside. Where the HELL do these networks find these females. Or the males for that matter? Some of them are the biggest dickwanks you've ever seen, and yet some people think they're funny.

God knows why, cause I don't!

So, being the second day of 2009, I shall talk about more current things.

Paris Hilton! No, I'm not a fan, I just don't understand why people are complaining about the money she's dropping when she shops. WHY???? She makes her own money, unlike you idiots that think Granddaddy Hilton gave her squillions, he didn't. She was lucky to get 2 mill, if that. She has to make her own money, and if she chooses to come here for New Years and drop a bundle .... damn well good on her. I think all those complaining are just jealous of the fact she has the money to spend without blinking an eye. I wish I did, and I would drop it without blinking. It must be nice to walk into a store and buy something without looking at the price tag, and worrying about how to pay for it or where you can get it on sale, or even secondhand. HELL! I'll help her spend her money, and help out the Aussie economy along the way. Because that's what she's doing, helping our economy. So to all those that have a problem with Paris spending up big in our dear old country, I say .... shove it up your arse!!!!!!!

Now, about our ..... tv presenters. Dear, dear, dear ..... they just have no idea. On channel 7, we have a morning show from 6 till 9 called Sunrise. Now, one of our presenters is named David Kock, oops, I mean Koch. On Jan 1, they crossed to all the states and spoke to people about each states fireworks displays, and the kind of crowds they got the night before. Well, they crossed to Adelaide, in South Australia, and David went on about what a fantastic place Adelaide is, especially where the fireworks were down at the river Torrens.

Now, David is originally from Adelaide, but rarely goes back, and yet he has this inane way of going on about how great it is. I've been there, it ain't! It's the most boring, mundane, boring, plain, boring, shit of a hole there is. It's the arse end of the country. Literally! And the minister they spoke to, stated there was 50 000 people there New Years Eve. I managed to get myself a copy of the Adelaide paper, and there was only 30 000. Considering South Aus only has 1.5 million people, and most of them leave and don't come back, I'm surprised the minister got it so wrong. Unless, it was wishful thinking, and they really want the rest of the world to believe Adelaide is better than it is. It isn't!!!

Something else happened on Sunrise, that annoyed me greatly. They had Dadichi on talking about the coming year for our star signs. They completely glossed over at least half of the star signs, Taurus, Leo, Libra, Scorpio, Sag, just because they, the hosts, weren't those star signs. Now that sucks for those people watching that were, I for one did not care which star signs the hosts were, and only wanted to know about mine, but alas, as David claimed, they were running out of time and had to rush. Yeah, not through YOUR star sign David. YOU got to hear about yours.

Seriously, if these shows don't have the time to talk to people, don't bother having them on! It just pisses me off when I don't get to hear, or find out about, stuff that is important to me. They all say, ''it will be up on the website for you to read'' I DON'T WANT TO JUMP ONLINE TO GO TO YOUR WEBSITE DAVID. I DON'T GIVE A CRAP ABOUT YOUR WEBSITE DAVID. I WANT TO FIND OUT WHILE I'M WATCHING SO I DON'T WASTE MY TIME GOING TO YOUR WEBSITE DAVID!!!!!!
And then of course we have the summer series of 9am with David and Kim. They may be repeats, but God honestly, I don't care for Kim ripping into David for being in the Chantoozies. Every opportunity, she has her sarcastic digs at his mullet, his drumming, the very fact he was in a band.

And exactly what were you doing in the 80's Kim?????? Hmmmm?????

We also have a show call 20 to 1, and they showed fav songs one week, and low and behold, there was the Chantoozies. Wellllll, there was David Reyne, on drums, a bit of a mullet, and this sly, sexy ''I know you want me'' look on his face. I liked the Chantoozies, they had great songs, and Big Dave looked H-O-T, HOTTTTT!!!!!!!!!

He still does, and quite frankly Kim, you need to shut the hell up and leave David alone, I wasn't the only one to like the group and I'm sure I'm not the only one now to like David, and still think he's a bit of a spunk rat. So I repeat, what were you doing in the 80's Kim???? 

So, I think I'm about near the end of my first post, and yet there's so much more to bitch about. Take a look at my sidebar and have a look around at all the candy I love, especially the guys. My Mikey, Carmie, Human Nature, which reminds me, if you don't know them already ... get to! They just did a show on NYE, at the Bellagio Hotel in Las Vegas, and I can't wait to see what it's like. But just for now ..... I'll leave you with Australia's Singing Sexpots!
So for now, I bid you goodbye, and I'll talk to you again real soon.

1 comment:

  1. Hey Jewels, What about us Victorians unable then able to watch 2 episodes of UNDERBELLY.
    Surely we could've seen the rest over summer.
    Have a great New Year ROBHAP


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